Heading off into the horizon of my life without a map or compass. A curse, a blessing? Who knows? We'll see. Bring it on.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Straight out of rubbish
I can't believe it's come to this.
Emails have been flying around with furious energy, heralding the imminent explosion of emotion, and colliding with each other in brilliant showers of confrontational passion.
But now that the initial dust has settled, where do we stand?
Four amazing individuals have been unceremoniously stripped of rank and privilege, and my second family has been declared "dissolved".
I've been in the process of writing a rant since Monday night, but now I can't bring myself to post any of it. Suffice it to say that I'm convinced I don't understand some things (and never will) because I have racked my brain over and over trying to make heads or tails of it... and at the end of the day, all I can tell myself is "...but that's WRONG!"
In lieu of me yelling, here's an excerpt from "Mending Wall", which is all I can do to address all the bullshit that's been flying around.
There where it is we do not need the wall: He is all pine and I am apple orchard. My apple trees will never get across And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him. He only says, "Good fences make good neighbors."
Holy crap. It's been over a month since my last post. This is probably because I've stopped writing them during class. Oh well. In any case, here is the long awaited (?) update.
Since the passing of Summer LTR and the real onset of classes, happenings have been relatively awesome.
Cass had her 20th birthday! Athens was great. What you can't see in these pictures is Megan Wing, whose family is now living in Atlanta. She dropped in on the fun and games. Holla!
We had a potluck dinner as an LC, and almost every continent was represented in the cuisine (I think South America was left out). There's Wing! Holla!
Katie and I took Ben James out to dinner for a belated birthday celebration. It was over a month after-the-fact. We went to a fondue restaurant, and although it was amazing, we opted to make dessert fondue on our own rather than pay another $20 for it at the venue. Here we are at Ben's abode with his girlfriend (!) Jessica and her sister. We had chocolate fondue with strawberries, raspberries, and angel food cake. MMmmm.
Coming up in the world of Pu: camping this coming weekend with the LC! We're going up north somewhere, apparently it's near Helen, the German oasis.
In other news, Katie and I got our visas for China! Orient, here we come!
Alas, Canada NLDC 2008. 'Twas a bittersweet experience, and it was all my fault. I came expecting the same great feelings of '07, but it was not to be. Like all AIESEC conferences, a measure of similarity must be maintained, and for me it had ventured into the realm of the redundant. And in my pride, I couldn't reconcile necessity with yearning.
But that was only the "bitter" part. The "sweet" part was in the people, the delegates, the individuals. You kids seriously kick some AIESEC ass, and you're generally ridiculous(in a good way). Maybe there are more Canadian conferences in my future than I thought...
Anyway, post NLDC shenanigans. See below.
Niagara Falls:
Me playing around with the macro function on my camera.
And finally, after we crossed the border, we were right next to Buffalo, so we simply had to visit the birthplace of the chicken wing. Here are the magnificent results: Try to guess which bowl of bones belongs to whom.
After global village, there was a gathering in my room of the LCPs of 6+ Canadian LCs, including Thomas and Kyle. We played Never-Have-I-Ever with amazing results.
Example statements: Angry white dragon Urban dictionary sex terms Sleeping with relatives once removed
So I went to AIESEC US's national LTM this past weekend. The following is my account of the crazy shit that happened outside of the actual meetings.
I got to the airport and it was a breeze to the terminal. I patiently started reading Life of Pi (yes, finally, and Shanky I still have your copy of it), and eventually the plane started boarding. My side of the aisle was just me until the very last moment, when the final person to board the plane was the window seat of my side (I was in the aisle).
Now, I don't know how else to describe this guy except to say that he was an older, fatter version of Mr. Bean. He had the same facial expressions, the same mannerisms, the same accent, everything.
He got to our seats, put his bag into the overhead bin, and then smiled at me and said "Excuse me." I let him in, and no more than a couple minutes later, I had to let him out so he could to get his bag. He sat back down, and then two minutes later, he had to get something again. This repeated 8 more times, and then eventually I said "You know, you have enough room underneath your seat to just put your bag there. Plus, I don't think there's anyone in the seat in between us, you could put it there too." He looked at me blankly, then after a couple seconds he brightened up and said "Ahhhhh."
Once we had taken off and were high enough to use our electronics, we both got out our iPods. 10 minutes later, I noticed that I was hearing something that wasn't coming from my earbuds. This really bothered me, because I always play my music really loud. I hit pause, and realized what I was hearing was coming from the window seat. I took off my earbuds, and it occurred to me that I was hearing Mr. Bean's iPod blasting Die Fledermaus. I'll let that marinate for a minute. Over the low blasting hum of the airplane, and through the loud house music coming through my own earbuds, I could hear HIS music. Meanwhile, he was slouched against the window, snoring softly. I looked around, and no one else seemed to mind that his music was loud enough to be heard within a 5 seat radius.
The view from my seat. Taken for posterity.
So we landed in NYC at 11PM and I scurried for the M60 bus stop. I'm standing alone there, and over the course of maybe 15 minutes, a flock of little Asian girls shows up, followed by an old married couple and disgruntled airport worker. And immediately afterward, Blue Steel showed up. Picture Ben Stiller, but blond, 6'5", and actually a model. Er... so basically, a typical male model with Derek Zoolander's trademark pout. He maintained this expression until his bus came by.
The Q72 came up around the corner, and almost immediately Blue Steel dropped the pout and took on a look of sheer bliss. But it was not to be. As the bus got closer, it was becoming rapidly apparent that it wasn't going to stop. Slowly, the grin became a grimace of murderous intent. When the bus zoomed by us, Blue Steel dropped his bags and chased after the bus, screaming at the top of his lungs "WHAT THE FUCK?!"
This was enough to spook the flock of Asian girls into scurrying 50 feet to the taxi hub, but the old married couple merely snorted and went back to cataloging the contents of their bags. Blue Steel was trudging back, saying "Are you kidding me?" out loud to no one in particular. I just smirked and went back to my book (at around this point, Pi had successfully constructed his raft).
"Are you kidding me?"
Blue Steel furiously pawed through his blackberry, looking for god-knows-what. The pout had returned. The old married couple got on the Q33.
"Are you kidding me?"
The M60 finally came by, and I got on and produced two crisp $1 bills for the driver. "Coins only," she said, without even looking at me. Now it was my turn to say "Are you kidding me?!" So I shambled back into the terminal and found the change machine. When I came back, Blue Steel was squawking into his phone about the bus injustice.
"Are you kidding me?"
The bus had left me, and by now it was past midnight, which meant that the next M60 wouldn't come by for maybe an hour. Blue Steel came up to me and said "You know, the next M60 probably won't come for another hour or so." We got to talking about how retarded the New York airports were: JFK's clusterfuck qualities, La Guardia's insanity, and Newark's distance. A Q__ bus pulled up, and the Asian flock scurried over to get onto it, while Blue Steel meandered over to the taxis to talk to the cabbies.
"Are you kidding me?", as he headed over.
He came back a few minutes later. By now, half an hour had passed since the M60 ditched me for lack of quarters. "You want to split a cab?", he asked me. I replied, "Aren't you going into Queens?" He said, "Yeah, but you could take a train into Manhattan from there. I'm willing to cover 3/4 of the cab fare."
Are you kidding me?
Blue Steel seemed like a nice enough guy, but I had been to New York enough to know that taking the metro into Manhattan from Queens could take hours. So I fed him a bullshit response about how I didn't know Manhattan at all and was meeting friends at a specific subway station. He relented, and we said our goodbyes. "Safe travels," he said, and flashed Blue Steel as he ducked into the cab. The cab sped away, and I was left alone on the platform.
At that very moment, an M60 pulled up. It had been just over an hour since the last bus, approximately 90 minutes since I first stepped out of the terminal. I staggered forward with my fistful of quarters, only to hear the man in the driver's seat say to me, "The machine is broken. Ride is free."
...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
The trip into and through Manhattan was pretty monotonous. The hostel was really kitschy and nice. I slept fitfully until the next morning and went to LTM.
Lunch was at a fabulous Turkish?/Lebanese?/Persian? place. The service was slow, but the food was worth it. No pictures to document this, sadly, but Northwestern has a new place in my heart from the conversations that took place. It turns out Richard finally got in touch with the LC there! Yay! Also, there was a girl there (whose name currently is escaping me) that's going to be in Shanghai at the same time as Katie and I. Now that's a network for you.
In the evening, we headed to Layaly for Ma'andi's final hurrah. Take note, kids, this place was amazing.
I'll let those speak for themselves.
Got back to the hostel at about 1AM. One of my roommates was busy washing his socks in the bathroom (yuck), and the entire room smelled like wet feet. I went to bed despite the olfactory assault.
When I got up the next morning, it only took me a few minutes to get washed and packed and down in the lobby to check out. When I got there, I saw one of my roommates arguing with the poor woman at the front desk. He swerved around, looked me dead in the eye, and screeched, "YOU STOLE MY WATCH!" Imagine my incredulity.
At this point it was already 9:45, and I had to walk 10 blocks to LTM. But this crazy motherfucker made me stay (by preventing the woman from being able to check me out) while he called the police over to arrest me and search my bag. Luckily, the po-pos thought he was as crazy as I did, and let me go whilst taking him down the hall to calm him down. My only regret is that I didn't snap a picture of the guy doing his wild "WHERE'S MY SHIT" histrionics.
I got to LTM at 11:30, an hour and a half late, but whatever. By the end of the day, we were exhausted. Costa gave us a ride, and this is what followed:
I got on my delayed flight and nearly finished Life of Pi (I got to the carnivorous island and couldn't deal with it anymore). Arrived in town at around midnight.
1. LTM this weekend. Inaugural week as the Fundraising LIGER for AIESEC US. NYC in all its glory. Will wonders ever cease? Let's hope so.
2. I FINALLY PICKED UP MAIL FOR OUR OFFICE! I walked by the mailbox and almost didn't check inside, but I figured I should, and LO AND BEHOLD, a piece of mail! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A YEAR AND A HALF!
Classy dinner party at Firdaus' flat last Saturday night. Maddie and Amy came by and the boys cooked and served for the girls. Gnocchi with mushrooms (Amy got a dirt ball in one), roasted vegetables (asparagus, red bell peppers, portobello shrooms, broccoli, and scallions), and a standard lasagna, followed by cashew caramel cookies (for everyone) and coconut sorbet (for me). Then Preston and Bryan stopped by and we watched the Simpsons movie and Super Troopers... everything else is left to your imagination.
I need to work out housing with Katie and Johanna.
And I need to find a job for the summer (in Atlanta, sorry nomads). Who wants to hire me, or suggest a means of employment?
And in other news, the wheels creak and groan as they begin to turn in Kenya. The tipping point has been reached, and soon I predict there will be a whirlwind of activity yet to be seen. Keep an eye on both of these amazingindividuals.
Our last day in Canada was Friday. We didn't actually have the hotel room for that night so we woke up REALLY early by our standards (8am) to pack up and check out by 10am. We cleared out of our temporary home, said our goodbyes, drove out, and took to the streets of Laval in record time. To the right you'll see us and our sole trip to Tim Horton's. As far as coffee and donuts go, it can't be beat.
After we made our way into the city, we diverged from each other and split into two groups. Shannon and I preferred to spend the day in a cozy bistro whilst cuddled up with our books/laptops, while Ryan, Thomas, and Masato wanted to wander around and see more of the city. I personally think they were crazy, since that Friday was hands-down the COLDEST day since we arrived in Canada. Plus, it was gusting winds of at least 50MPH. But whatever, I heard they had fun. You can probably read about their exploits at their blogs, linked at the right.
It didn't take long until Shannon got restless and decided she wanted to get her hair cut. So we found some salons online and hit the metro. The first two places ended up being complete duds: the first was in a building that was still being constructed, and the second had no one except for a 60 year-old woman cutting the hair of an 80 year-old woman. Our third and final place ended up being an ultra-chic place inside a mall (the Montreal mall, as it turns out). Girlfriend wanted a bang, so a bang she got!
Here are the before and afters:
The very definition of hot n' sexy.
After that, Shannon needed to accessorize her new 'do so we bought shades and then went to St. Laurent to wait for the boys so we could head to Odaki, where we were meeting AIESEC UQAM for dinner. They finally came, and it was obvious that they were a little tipsy (barhopping will do that to you). We passed this along the way to the restaurant:
Odaki has completely changed my perception of Western Japanese restaurants. It was so amazing I wanted to cry when it was time to leave. Why can't Rusan's be as good as Odaki?
Savanna, the VPER from UQAM, had used her contacts to get us a reservation at this atypical buffet restaurant. We sat at a traditional (sort of) Japanese table, complete with sliding paper panels and everything. The way the food worked was simple: you agreed to a 26.99CDN fee, and then could order anything you wanted at any time from the menu. All you had to do was fill out a paper order sheet, give it to the hostess, and wait for your fresh sushi to come out. You would then be given a fresh paper order to fill out if you wanted. DOES THAT SOUND AWESOME OR WHAT?! And they had more than sushi too. There was tempura, katsu, spring rolls, dumplings, fusion dimsum, and the list goes on. It was an amazing experience for such a cheap price. If you should ever find yourself in Montreal and craving Japanese, there is no better place than Odaki.
As you can see in the video above, a bunch of UQAM kids came out to see us. They were all awesome and really cool. The meaningful conversation didn't really happen though. After a certain point we got kind of inebriated... inebriated on sushi. I don't know how else to describe it. We weren't acting sober, but we definitely were. It was odd.
When it was time to go, it was too late to make it to AIESEC HEC's metro party (sadface). But we could still make it to Club 737 that Savanna had gotten us VIP access to (have I mentioned yet that this girl is awesome?), and we thought we should retrieve Ryan's car from the parking lot of Canadian Tire, just in case they didn't take kindly to overnight parking.
Savanna (there on the right) went with Ryan and I so we wouldn't wander around in downtown Montreal looking for parking. As soon as we got to the car and started our usual hapless search for a good radio station, she took control of the dial and immediately found two stations that blared out slick house tunes. Thank god for locals.
We got into the city and immediately found parking right outside the club building. The club itself is at the highest point in Montreal. The views were amazing.
No, my camera did not put on beer goggles after third picture. That effect is from the condensation that formed on the windows due to the body heat of the kids that were dancing nearby. Yes, I said kids. It seemed like everyone else there was on the lower end of 17-19, which was kind of awkward because we're all 22. Savanna swore that the place usually shows an average age of 21. Maybe everyone just looked young that night. Either way, the place was exquisitely awesome, and I'm already jealous of the AIESEC Canada 50th Anniversary Gala that will take place there later this year.
Drinks.
Our gracious hosts.
And then it was time to leave. We bid a fond farewell to Montreal, and took off into that good night for the USA.
We got to New Haven at midmorning on Saturday, and after a tour of Yale campus, recorded this final hurrah from Team Awesome.
We said goodbye to Shannon and continued on our weary way. Behold, car karaoke, courtesy of Thomas and Ryan:
Oh, those silly kids. We got into Atlanta at 2am on Sunday morning. And the rest is history.
If anyone from Montreal is reading, we cannot thank you enough for the hospitality and courtesy that you've shown us. This includes both random people and the AIESEC LCs. If you have the chance to visit New Haven or Atlanta, you should know that we will do everything in our power to make your trip as amazing as ours. And to you crazy AIESECers, I expect to see you at NDLC in Toronto. We all do.
Montreal, you treated us well, and we will miss you. This is Team Awesome for the final time... signing off.
So our excursion into Montreal was interesting to say the least. We went into the city with the intention of parking at the furthest Metro stop from downtown (the closest to us), and didn't realize that we were going in on a Monday when people would be working. Hence, the commuters would have jammed up all parking spots within miles of the Metro station. After a series of unfortunate events, we ended up parking at Canadienne Tire and trekking over.
Voila notre experience dans la Metro. (It's Franglish already, I'm not going to bother with accents)
Afterwards, we grabbed lunch at a shawarma place. We all agreed that it is still a shame that the Tech campus is without a similar place (Ray's does not count).
Just for you, Kyle. YES THAT'S MAYONNAISE.
Then we took off for Old Montreal.
Then we went to the marina?/shore?/park? to play in the snow. Oh man.
There are five of us, and five silhouettes in the snow. Coincidence? I think not.
Thomas has more pictures than I do, and they're currently sitting on his memory card back in our room. I shall succeed in snatching them off that card to post here, though. Just be patient.
We were feeling the afternoon drowse so we slipped into delightful little café to receive a caffeine/sugar infusion. Below is my selection.
Hot chocolate and baklava. Both homemade by a deliciously homey Turkish grandmother and served by her showboating husband. He chatted us up about AIESEC, Turkey, and his experiences in Quebec. Thomas and Ryan got Turkish coffee:
They got their fortunes read from the remnant coffee grinds in the bottom of their cups, a tradition that we successfully pantomimed to the couple. While Ryan's reading included a "girl made for dancing" and a big heart, Thomas' was basically "... you, not so good." Ouch!
Afterwards we headed to the LC in the University of Quebec at Montreal (UQAM). We got to see their office (bigger than ours, wtf!) and had a beer with two of their newies at their campus bar (wtf!!).
We taught them the cup game. Ha.
Conclusion for the day:
We're going back to UQAM tonight to watch their hockey game and partake in more beverages. It shall be glorious.
So, the four of us took off for New Haven, and ultimately Montreal, two days ago on Friday. We sentimentally named ourselves after the Fantastic Four (dibs on the Thing) and hightailed it out of the perimeter and up I-85 to get Shannon.
A special guest came along for the ride.
The trip along the eastern seaboard was marked with spotty performance. Ryan started driving first, as is obvious by the fact that we went in his car and from the pictures above. We made it through South and North Carolina, stopping only to visit Taco Bell for a quick beef injection. Oh yes, I went there. Unfortunately, I didn’t get any pictures of it. But it was pretty standard Taco Bell fare. Oh, the Hot Sauce packets they had there were purple instead of the standard red; correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought the Hot Sauces were red and the Fire Sauces were purple. In any case, each and every one of the Hot Sauce packets also had the following text on them: “DirectDaniella.com”. Just a tad bit awkward.
Afterwards, Masato took over driving until about 100 miles into Virginia, at which point I took over. At this point it was about 10:00PM. This exchange occurred after fuel retrieval and a trip into Subway, which is deemed worthy of a story. As you should remember, our hobohookah Jean-Pierre Laurent-Michel Delacroix was with us. At this time of night it had been going for almost six hours and needed a nice cleaning. So Ryan removed Dela and brought it into the Subway restroom to clean out while the rest of us ordered food (driving is hungry work). The workers inside the Subway completely freaked out and thought we were bringing marijuana into the store. They managed to explain it away to them (I think I was peeing at the time), but in hindsight (apparently) the stuff could be considered to be drug paraphernalia and thus a legitimate legal concern. But fie on all that. They threw our food at us and all but kicked us out of Subway so they wouldn’t be implicated in our possession (because that makes sense).
I drove through the rest of Virginia and West Virginia and into Maryland, where at 2:00AM we stopped at an auspicious landing that contained a closed Wendy’s (!), a closed McDonald’s (!!), a closed K-Mart (?), and no sign of a Wal-Mart despite the fact that there was a Sam’s Club right in the vicinity. However, there was this wondrous store called Martin’s with freshly baked goods in the early morning and bins of dried goods and candies that you were able to mix and match with. Thomas ended up with some German fruit candies and some sesame candies, and I ended up coming away with a pound of banana chips and a half bound of honey roasted cashews. TAKE NOTE, PLANTERS. IF YOU MAKE IT, I WILL BUY IT. Do not pass up the opportunity to cash in on this… cash cow.
Ryan took over again, and at this point both Thomas and I were dead tired and passed out in the backseat while Ryan and Masato commanded the car. Apparently Pennsylvania and New Jersey have SHIT for roads and the car was bumping and crashing up and down with a hurricane force. But I was able to sleep through it somehow. I don’t believe it, but whatever. When I woke up, we were already in Connecticut and Ryan was bitching about the New York/New Jersey toll road systems. Typical. We missed our FIRST OFF-RAMP FOR THE ENTIRE TRIP because the ramp was off of the left side of the road. I personally don’t see how that happened because I specifically wrote in the directions, EXIT OFF THE LEFT SIDE. Oh well.
We finally got to Shannon! The Fantastic Four has become the Planeteers! I know it’s a stretch, but hey, there aren’t many other famous fivesomes. No, I am not saying the Power Rangers.
Thomas took over driving upon leaving New Haven. And over the hills and through the woods to grandmother’s house we go… in Quebec.
We finally saw snow in Massachusetts (yay!) whilst plugging along on a toll road (boo!). I've seen snow before, but never draped on mountainous peaks like the ones in upstate New England.
Speaking of tolls, this is one of the booths from the toll in New York. You know you're nearing Canada when...
The border! Yay we made it! From here it was a quick trip into Montreal (with a very tired and very obnoxious Ryan in the back seat) for a lunch at local feeding hole where we had poutine. Poutine poutine poutine. Deliciousness. There will be more of it in our future.
Then it was just a short trip to our hotel, or auberge. This place is a freakin' resort. More pictures of the surroundings later.
And now, the week has just begun!
Thomas is sitting there in the back of the sled thing. More about Vince and his kids tomorrow.
Right now the only thing that affirms my belief that this war won't happen is the fact that it's an election year. To declare another wholly unnecessary and unjustified (at least to the American people) war would be the GOP shooting itself in the proverbial Republican foot. Or maybe this would be part of a calculated strategy, engineered as a truly divisive campaign topic, as a method of skirting the important domestic issues at hand, and as a method of exploiting fear for votes on November 2nd.
Either way, I pray for the youth of Iran and for development of the world that a brave American soul receives one of the expansion posts in Iran.
My dreams of a traineeship in the United Arab Emirates are looking more daunting and more tantalizing by the minute.
If you ask the average AIESECer what is implied by "AIESEC work" and request specifics, you should be prepared to field completely unique responses for each and every person. While job descriptions float around out there for the formalized roles within LCs, MCs, and AI, the ultimate goal across all of them is the central mission and vision of the organization. And, I think, this is the measure that's used to determine one's success and effectiveness during their AIESEC career.
But what does this imply?
People always ask whether you remember experiences with your bodies of work more or if you remember the people more when talking about past experiences. Anyone that equivocates with a "both of them equally" is a liar and not in touch with reality, to put it bluntly. I suspect we feel an unconscious guilt in choosing one over the other, so we reason with ourselves to the point of elevating our memory of the lacking experience to something equal in worth to the greater one. If one thinks clearly about their past, they can define a clear front-runner, the one from which they draw the conclusion of "I was a success" or "I was a failure" regarding their time with the experience in question. Similarly, trying to explain this away with a mutually inclusive system where one has to focus at both in order to be considered successful is just being perfectionist and defeatist.
So when the work you do is so grounded in the personal relationships that you create, how do you reconcile the two and ultimately decide which one to prioritize? Is it even possible? Could it be that to attempt such a conscious decision is futile?
Let's bring it home for a moment. If you're involved with ICX and sales, which would you value more: the experience in working with companies to source traineeships, or that first moment when you spot the trainee from Cairo coming through the terminal gates? If you're involved with OGX, which would you value more: expanding your LC's role within your university and city and becoming the premier internship venue, or those late night conversations with your trainees on Skype? If you're involved with TM, which would you value more: the creation and execution of a mentoring and training program, or those dinner dates with your mentor/mentee? And if you're an LCP, which would you value more: coordinating all the work in your LC into a harmonious melody, or seeing your members grow and develop into something more than the sum of their parts?
As I said before, I don't think it's reasonable or possible to think you can place equal value on both at the same time. But conversely, I don't think the two have to be mutually exclusive.
It's a difficult question.
In the end, I could just be rambling about nothing. But I think everyone should take the time to perform a little introspection and figure this out.
I have to admit that sometimes my fascination with my own mortality extends into a curiosity on the mortality of mankind as a whole. And it doesn't help that the Discovery and Travel channels appear to have figured this out and subsequently developed programming that sates this piqued interest.
And as cool as the concepts of the shows are, at the same time they're somewhat disturbingly morbid.
Take, for instance, the Travel channel's 1,000 Places To See Before You Die. I like the premise of this show. There are so many amazing places around the world that everyone (ideally) should have the opportunity to experience. All you have to do is look at thesepeople'sphotoalbums to be convinced of this. But OH MY GOD, the title of the show. Talk about blunt and awkward. I don't mean to imply that death is somehow a taboo subject, or that the mass media should stick the happy-go-lucky side of life, but this is something that's just disturbing.
And then there's the Discovery channel's shows that are centered on the extinction of mankind or the outright absence thereof... due to an implied extinction. There's a show (maybe a series of specials?) focusing on the various forms of natural disasters that can occur which would wipe out life in various ways: animal life, terrestrial life, and even all life in general. It covers freaky stuff that includes the impact of a comet and generic stuff like global warming. They go into detail about how many days it would take for the human population to die out given current technology and infrastructure and have fun with the idea that any of these, while unlikely, are not as unlikely as we would like to think. And then there are shows that focus on premise that humans will kill each other off somehow, and the rest of the world will move on as if we simply packed up and left. They go buck wild with computer generated models of projected animal species if humans were to disappear and CG animations of what ubiquitously urban areas would look like thousands of years into the future, completely inundated in flora and fauna.
They're extremely interesting to watch, but at the same time, sobering in their implications. It's one thing to despair about one's impact on humanity and the "world"... it's another thing entirely to think about the big picture of big pictures, where even civilizations don't matter.
Moving on, everyone should get a Twitter account. Just take a gander to the right. It's like facebook stalking for those of us without iPhones... or until someone else releases a cheap, mass-produced phone that can access websites with the same ease.
All the evidence and all the signs are pointing toward this RoKS being one of the best ones in years. But in the overarching big picture of things, in the spotlight of hindsight, in the glorious afterglow of an anticipated experience... I feel underwhelmed.
Maybe it was the fact that I spent most of my time sitting at a table with Carleigh, checking in delegates and asking for damage deposits. Maybe it was the fact that I spent the rest of my time running IT and dreaming of sleep. Maybe it was the fact that I felt betrayed by the circumvention of conference structure by would-be delegates. Maybe it was the fact that I experienced a wholly unfounded and unreasonable feeling of inappreciativeness from everyone I came into contact with. And maybe I'm just getting old as an AIESECer, and I've finally hit the dreaded "sophomore slump".
And now that I'm sitting in LTM listening to everyone talk about how amazing this past weekend was and how to best bring that experience back to the rest of the membership, I'm struck with the realization that I now know what people mean when they say that they've become stricken with an inordinate feeling of boredom, the sinister form of boredom that makes one feel idle and useless. And maybe this is what has been eating away at me.
I need to focus less on negativity. But this is something I need to reconcile with myself and push through.
Sean was mugged on Sat. 2/16. He sustained a head injury resulting in 70% hearing loss in his right ear and vertigo. He was released from the hospital yesterday and is on bed rest with his host family. We are having a difficult time communicating with the drs in Nairobi. If you have any contacts in Nairobi, please contact us mkolk@mindspring.com or 770-595-2337. thanks, margaret kolk
Part of me can't help but recognize the irony in the fact that his mother posted this comment after he wrote about his feeling awkward of people's concerns for him.
My immediately first gut reaction was something I'm not proud of, and something completely unbecoming of an AIESECer. I've gotten over that, though, because I know that he's going to take this in stride and not hold it against the Nairobi LC or the whole of Kenya. If anything, he's received his first battle scar, and all I can do is hope that it's just cosmetic.
Keep living the dream, buddy. You're never far from our thoughts.
So I realized that I haven't made a new post in over a week now, so in the next 20 minutes for before I have to run out the door and haul tail to class, I'm going to pound one out.
I've learned not to try to think about the future too much. In all fairness, it's unavoidable to an extent, but there's a fine line between sage planning and overwrought fretting.
It always begins with my professional prospects and my outlook thereof. I've narrowed my career of choice down to a neighborhood but am still clueless as to which house I should move into. And this neighborhood is pretty frickin' huge. With an INTA degree, I could go into a vast variety of fields. I could go to business school next and do international consulting. I could go into law school and work for NGOs and transnational organizations. I could continue my studies into INTA/IR graduate school and go into academia. I could attempt to enter the foreign service and go globetrotting with the state department. And the list goes on and on. And where does AIESEC fit into all of this? Sometimes I see myself being the prodigal alumnus, continually giving back by way of Mike Flood and Peter Stewart. And then other times, I can't wait to get out and let the new generation find their path. And the problem, I think, lies in my inability to reconcile the two into a suitable compromise.
And then this bleeds into the growing panic of "how will I stay sane and happy?"
I've been stricken with a serious case of the "grass is greener". When I lived at home in a small town, I dreamed of the fast paced life in the big city. And now that I'm here, I'm becoming sentimental for the comfortable ease of the small town. Not to mention, these have all be in the South East US. What about New England? What about the west coast? Hell, what about other countries? I've spent ample time in Canada, western Europe, China, and had a taste of Morocco. They all have their quirks and their special qualities. Different cultures, different ways of life, different perceptions of day to day goings-on. And this isn't even factoring in specific neighborhoods and regions. And what's the most unsettling is that I'm probably going to have little to no control over where I'm placed.
And then this bleeds into the growing panic of "what about my romantic life?"
It's disturbing how rational I've become. I haven't had a real crush in well over a year. Why? Because every time one rears its head, I analyze it until I can find something unrealistic about it. I always find something that tells me "this will never work, don't even try." Sometimes, I look back on those and think "yeah, that was a good call." And then sometimes, I think "jeez, am I sabotaging myself?" And the fact that I can say that about even one of them throws them all into doubt. I can't say for certain whether I've actually met anyone in the past couple of years that I've legitimately liked anyone. Have I, against all odds and logic, turned myself into a bitter asexual?
And then this bleeds into the growing panic of my mortality.
My parents had me at 24. That's two years older than I am right now. To me, my parents look old, even though they're only in their 40s. When I think about children, I feel it both ways. I know that to have any in the near future would be wholly unfeasible and unreasonable, but I know that to have them much later would result in a very strained parenthood. It's the perennial dilemma for our generation. Do you put your career first, or your potential children? If I were to do the jetsetting international thing, there would be no room for children in that. The lack of stability would create maladjusted teenagers. And then when I'm older, how can I expect to play soccer with my child when I'm hobbling around at age 50+? And then there's the issue of grandchildren. I want to be around to see them. But if I don't see myself living past 70, would it even be possible? And speaking of mortality, I know I have an expiration date. I don't know when that is, but I know that it lurks in the haze of inevitability. How am I going to maximize my time here on this Earth so I don't look back and say, "What a waste."
And then this makes me think about what I'm going to do with my life as far as my career and general work, which only further throws me into this vicious cycle.
I don't think I'll be able to maintain any kind of interest in the primaries anymore, especially since my state is over and done. I've suddenly made the realization that this whole thing is like the previews before the movie... seriously, who cares? When the two candidates are finally selected and finally get to the real meat of their campaign platforms, I'll pay attention again.
Hillary won Florida. I can't say I'm too surprised. And for the record, I'm not calling her by her first name because of some misogynistic agenda. Every time I hear "Clinton" I think of Bill, so this is my way of differentiating between the power couple.
Alas, Edwards is out of the race. He didn't even win South Carolina, his home state. No word yet on who he's endorsing. I'm hoping he gets the Vice President slot when that time comes.
Shanky's on the long road to Kenya. But the long road has also been good to him. Check him out.
